A few months ago I started a new devotional book with my littles. Grace for the Moment by Max Lucado adapted by Tama Fortner. These have been great little devotions and have sparked some good conversation. But truthfully, many times I get just as much out of them (if not more) as my children do. God's word never returns void, Amen!?! 

A few weeks ago that is exactly what happened in the devotion titled " The Fire in Your Heart". The daily scripture read from Psalm 40:8-

The beginning of the devotion began with a series of questions. 

 God set a fire in my heart roughly three years ago. I had just gone through my "life changing"  fitness transformation and knew that this was something I HAD to share. But, God  also gave me a specific vision to share my new passion for living healthy. God calls us to do EVERYTHING for His glory, right? This fire He set in my heart was  no different. My transformation was largely spiritual, not just physical. So I knew that by sharing this passion for healthy living, it had to be from a biblical perspective. So many ideas have flooded my head over the last few years, many of them pieces of what I felt were part of a puzzle....... pieces of the vision God was giving me. Much of this time I have felt like I was inching along and not making progress or simply just struggling through it. 

So much has happened in these last few weeks that I can't say this single devotion was the sole inspiration for the clarity I have found recently. I might just say it was timely confirmation in moving forward. As God always is......... timely! Who would have thought that God would speak to me about a calling He placed in my heart three years ago through a devotion for my little people. I'm learning as a homeschooling Mom that many lessons I intend for my children are often meant for me as well. YES, then there is THAT!!!  But, I digress. (Truthfully it is relevant but not the point I'm trying to make at the moment.)

The point I'm trying to express here is that "that fire in my heart", God ignited three years ago, has started to take its form. I feel that along with some new elements I have gained clarity and motivation that didn't seem to be fully there before. If you've been reading the blog over the past couple of weeks then you have seen the manifestation of what has been in my heart.

Ah, yes the blog.....this is the thing that seemed to be slow moving. Yet, this is the one spark of the vision that seemed to continue to burn inside of me. Though so many times it seemed that I just couldn't write, it still burned. Friends, this is so, so significant to me. You see, I NEVER intended to be a writer (of any kind). This is totally and completely God! Although writing has become a labor of love, it is non the less labor-some for me. It's hard most of the time. I struggled through high school and college writing papers. I don't even recall taking a creative writing class. IT WAS and IS PURELY GOD! That is the amazing part in this! When there is a burning desire to do something you would never dream of.......It must be God's will for you! Right!?! That's what I've experienced. 

Interestingly fitness was never on my radar either, yet God perfectly orchestrated that into my life as well. 

Two passions, two sparks..........How did it make one fire in my heart? It wasn't always clear but I kept taking small steps towards what I believed God was putting on my heart. Quite honestly it's still hard to put into words. But, writing about what God is doing in my life is what I feel led to do. Discovering that a healthy lifestyle and taking care of ourselves physically, mentally ,and spiritually is part of our worship to God is also something I had to share. So what you see as I continue writing on my blog and develop the tools on my website is the unfolding of the vision, "That Fire in my Heart".  

As Max Lucado beautifully and simply shared in his devotion for children, I also ask you:  

Dear Ruby,  
Find your passion.
Find the Fire in Your Heart.
Discover Beautiful! 

A few years ago, once I began learning more about what good nutrition really was, I did an overhaul on the eating habits of the whole family. It was a gradual process but after competing I had to learn to how to eat normally with my family. Eating what your told to eat for 10 weeks is one thing, but transitioning to eating normal meals along with everyone else is a whole notha learning experience. I'm not going to lie, it was hard for me and  took a long time to translate what I learned into what the rest of my family would "willingly" eat as well. I am not a cook.....AT ALL! Surprisingly cooking has always been my husbands thing not mine. But, since we have incorporated healthier meals into our family I have expanded my horizons and learned a few simple meals and even experimented some with simple recipes. Did you catch that? SIMPLE! I am a simple girl when it comes to cooking. Cooking is not extremely enjoyable to me, partly because it overwhelms me. I found that, when tracking meals I must keep it simple, this was revolutionary to my cooking skills.

So now, as part of my "Fit Friday" posts I'm going to share a few tips and tricks I've learned along the way that made my families favorite meals more healthy.Thanks to my sweet friend who messaged me a question about ground turkey this morning, we are going to start there.

 In the "This For That" scheme of things, ground turkey is typically leaner and healthier than ground beef, simply because it has less fat (saturated). I'm not going to get into the super science-y nutritional breakdown in this post but, swapping BEEF for TURKEY can help you in a couple of ways. Because of the higher fat content in beef swapping for ground turkey will decrease your calorie intake as well as fat intake. Why, do you ask? Because there are 9 calories per gram of fat compared to 4 calories per gram of protein and carbohydrates. Its all in the math folks the higher the fat content the more calories you are going to consume. See its not just science, its math......you're welcome! And of course less saturated fat means better heart health, not just better for your waist line. 

Now that we have covered the why, lets move on to the how! Lean ground turkey  is a staple food in our house. You can do so much with it. Some of our families favorite meals are tacos (Taco Tuesday whoopwhoop a weekly favorite), spaghetti (because I have Italian blood, duh), Chili and turkey burgers just to name a few. 

These are just a few examples of how you can make the meals you already love healthy and simple.  Substitute starchy and processed side dishes by adding a nice healthy salad or fresh raw veggies to complete any of these meals. Find healthy options that fit your family. It may take some time but keep it simple and in the long run your family will be on their way to a healthier lifestyle.

I hope you will keep coming back for more Fit Friday "This For That" along with some simple recipes to try for yourself!
Live Amazing My Friends! 

Recently I began a monthly scripture writing challenge with Writer, Speaker, Podcaster Heidi St. John. She often says on her podcast that simply writing out scripture is poweful. And it definitely has been for me. One of the recent scripture writings was from Romans 14. Let me tell you friends, God meets us right where we are! He gave me a perspective on this scripture that spoke to me in an area that I have struggled in most my life.

s  How does God speak to a #nutritionnerd (like me) through His word? By using a food illustration of course.

But truthfully, what I really see in this scripture is comparison. This is a subject that I've struggled with for a very long time and has been especially heavy on my heart this last year. God has been doing some major work on me in this area. I touched on it a bit in my post After the "After and Before Photo", when I talked about it taking hold again as the #250kchallenge was coming to an end. Comparison can sneak its way in so easily for me. And this unfortunately is not limited to fitness but trickles down into every area of my life .  I know that God does not desire for me to compare myself or my life to others. He desires for complete  obedience to Him! 

Certainly God gives us clear commandments in which we are all to obey but outside of that He has also created us uniquely for His glory. He often gives us convictions that are for each of us individually. These convictions are never contrary to His commandments but evidence that He cares for us as His unique children. He know us and He knows the things that keep one from fully devoting themselves to His worship, does not hinder another. 

In times that I have continually looked at others and compare myself or my life to theirs, by the end of the day I have found that I was so exhausted and  overwhelmed. Why wouldn't I? It waists so much energy! And this alone takes my focus off of God. But look what Romans 14:5-6a,7-8 says again: 

The second part of verse 6 really stuck with me. "Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind." This tells me that we should not be wishy-washy thinking we should be doing this or that, have this or that, but be seeking God to solidify our minds in what is right for us. Because, as it continues to say, "If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord." 

​Our culture heavily implores us to the comparison game. We are constantly surrounded by social media and consumer ads telling us how we should live our lives.
Have you been lured in by the social media version of Super Mom or by the new fashion trends of your friend groups (you know what I mean)?
Oh, me too! 
Though individually these things may not be intentionally harmful, social media has its way of trapping us into comparison if we allow it.
Don't get me wrong I'm not saying Social Media is bad or wrong. But,  what I am saying is ,if it's a trap for you, it might be something you more carefully consider. Though, this might look differently to one as it does another. It is also a perfect example to what  Romans 14:3 says as I previously stated , "The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them". 
  So what might it look like if we were "fully convinced in our own mind" in today's culture? Well I can only tell you this from my own experience that as I draw closer to the Lord and as I know Him more intimately I can not only find what He does desire for me but also what He doesn't desire for me. As I do this I am able to stand firm on His word in which I can judge more accurately what God desires of me. In the New International Version (NIV) Bible "stand firm" is listed 34 times. You may know Ephesians 6:14:  

So if you must be drawn in by the latest fashion or compare to the latest superhero/supermom  lets look to this image of a warrior .What an empowering picture this creates. The BELT OF TRUTH and the BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS!  This passage from Ephesians 6 goes on to describe the feet fitted with readiness, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit.

STAND FIRM RUBIES, be fully convinced in your own mind! Let us encourage each other to NOT be lured by the "Comparison Game" but live in the purpose God gives each of us!  

Last Posted
​ Fit Friday: #DiscoverBeautiful #LiveAmazing
Wisdom Wednesday: After the "After and Before Photo"

 If you follow me on social media you have seen me use these hashtags ( #DiscoverBeautiful #LiveAmazing) often. Why do I use them and what do they mean? Both show significance to my own health journey but by sharing/using them it allows me to make you apart of my journey as well.

When my health journey began four years ago (2013) and I began training for my first bodybuilding competition I saw how fitness and nutrition was impacting and transforming my life. I was amazed how my body was changing but more importantly I discovered I had to dig deep spiritually in a way I never had before.I wholeheartedly believe that like everything else in this earthly place, God gave us our physical bodies. And He commands us to take care of what we have been given. I have also discovered that when we take care of our bodies it equips us to better serve Him in the areas He has purposed us for. So for me it was all connected. And it was at this point I developed a passion to help others discover the same for themselves. This is where the idea of #DiscoverBeautiful began! 

#DiscoverBeautiful was a program (more so an accountability group) I created in 2016 to help those looking for physical change with a spiritual perspective. This program and group includes daily/weekly encouragement for fitness and spiritual growth. (More information on my accountability group can be found on the #DiscoverBeautiful tab on the website ). God impressed this idea on my heart simply because I saw how important it was to first focus on my spiritual growth then on my physical changes. Having the right accountability, encouragement, and tools make such a difference when creating this atmosphere. I have learned so much and though I am still learning everyday it's part of the journey to share everything I learn.

So this brings me to #LiveAmazing! Unlike #DiscoverBeautiful, #LiveAmazing is not original to me but a hashtag I adopted. About a year ago I was struggling. I was taking care of my body the best I knew how with mostly good nutrition, vitamins and supplements to fill in the gaps. But I was NOT feeling as amazing as I should have. However, I wasn't even searching for myself, I was looking into better health for my children. And after a few conversations with my sweet friend Holly, she gently directed me to Shaklee in which became the missing piece for my whole family. I continued to be impressed by this incredible company. Their above and beyond efforts to bring a product that is pure and safe for everyone could not be ignored.  Live Amazing is part of the Shaklee culture. The Shaklee company believes that everyone should experience feeling amazing just as we were created to be. Being able to have access to Shaklee as a resource to help others achieve better health has definitely added to my #LiveAmazing. 

This short video shows exactly the difference I saw in the Shaklee Corporation.  ​

Shaklee does an amazing job of providing us with education and resources to share with YOU! THIS is where a healthy lifestyle begins not just supplements and products. We believe that by providing you with the education, the resources, and support you need YOU will be equipped to make better decisions about your health.
So this to me is what it means to #LiveAmazing; finding superior health with real education & resources, support & guidance,and  pure & potent products!

So if you are looking to #DiscoverBeautiful or #LiveAmazing I'd love to help you in your journey! There are several ways to do that. Check out a few of the options below  that will help you take the next step in your health and spiritual growth.  

Some of you may have been following me on social media as I shared the journey and progress of the #250kchallenge with bodybuilding.com. Well the deadline has passed and the challenge complete..... BUT I'm going to share with you why I DID NOT submit the AFTER the AFTER photos!

I had shared a vulnerable post in the first few weeks of the challenge that included my AFTER and BEFORE pics. The reason I decided to do the challenge was because I desperately wanted change! I was hating my body and feeling horrible about backsliding into old habits. I needed the outside motivation of this challenge.

Here is the post:

"NO this is NOT a before and after photo.....it IS an AFTER and BEFORE photo.
Quite honestly it takes way more courage to post a photo like this. It has taken me the better part of two weeks to OWN where I am in my journey. Its just HARD to admit to the world you have gotten off track in your own health (especially when you are a health advocate). I let my life and circumstances overtake my will. But that is changing! I'm going back to what I know. For motivation I took the plunge and entered @bodybuildingcom #250kchallenge. I'm in week 2. Man! Do I feel better! I'm still working out some logistics in my routine but I've really been working on my nutrition. My passion for nutrition absolutely comes from my STRUGGLE! I have experienced what good and bad nutrition can do. I believe in flexibility, for sure. But, you can spend hours in the gym and still not achieve optimum health if your nutrition is horrible. I also believe in accountability. So I'd live for you to follow my journey!"

Just like any transformation, I had my high and low moments in those 90 days. Progress was slow but I was testing my knowledge and all that I learned while getting certified; trusting my new methods and trusting in the process. Now here is where I was experiencing a difference from all the other times. After I had gained my health back, began eating better again, and lifting again I became more comfortable in my body AND NOT caring about the numbers. I was comparing less and owned MY goals not someone else's!

Was I happy where I was?
NO, there was still work to do in order to reach my goal.
BUT, I felt good in my own skin again.

These physical transformations I do are NEVER just physical. Mental and Spiritual transformation ALWAYS have equal parts. This subject is another blog post all together, however, it is so important and part of my process.

But, THEN things changed aaaagain! In that last week I started to see other contestants before and after transformations. And there the battle in my mind began. I started feeling that my progress wasn't enough. Maybe I was doing things wrong. I was doubting!

But, I also considered the methods in which many reached that amazing transformation. I have followed the culture of bodybuilding long enough to know the processes followed. I even followed it myself. I also know that while tremendous fat loss happens in a relatively short period of time, there is risk involved in gaining it back once those methods are not continued. You have to be strategic in the post transformation phase. Although the quick fat/weight loss was  the goal for many if not most of the challengers, this was not my ultimate goal. I want fat loss but, I also want a good healthy sustainable lifestyle.I also didn't want to lose muscle  but gain muscle if possible. This is challenging to do simultaneously. 

In my humanness seeing these amazing transformation left me torn. I wanted more success, quicker success, "the others" success.
Remember.... Equal parts mental and spiritual?

Reality- I knew that my progress wasn't enough to be in the running as a finalist.
Mental and Spiritual conclusion:

• I did not feel the need to submit photos just to prove (to bodybuilding.com and other challengers) my success! Sure, had I really connected to some of them during the challenge and found accountability there then sure it might have been more of a consideration. But, I should not/do not measure success from the worlds standards but God's standards; in which is my obedience to Him. This competition was simply to motivate me to do a better job in taking care of my body, something He has placed on my heart to do. In this I believe I was successful.  To others success might look differently. 

• I didn't feel the need to submit photos to prove my worth. My worth and success does not come from a competition, the numbers on the scale or fat calipers. I know my worth comes my creator. I use Psalm 45:11 often. 

​​​

Last Published: Unpolished NOT Unavailible
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Join me back here for:
Wisdom Wednesdays~ Real Life. Discovering the Beauty of God's Wisdom in the Messiness of Life
Fit Fridays~ The healthy side of my life; Mind, Body, and the Spiritual connection. Nutrition, Fitness, Recipes, Transformations, Articles, guest posts, and much more!
​
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A topic I have yet to talk much about here on the blog but DO talk a lot about on social media is our families homeschooling venture. Truthfully this is what keeps me from writing as often as I like. This was a big step for us ....OK mostly ME, my kids surprisingly were very accepting of the idea. When God first put this on my heart, in my self doubt my first response was "God I'm NOT equipped for this (as it often is). How can my messy life handle this HUGE task?"

Jesus chose the most unlikely men to be his disciples. All he required of them was that they make themselves available and follow Him.

This is the same for us. We may feel Unpolished, Unworthy, Unequipped but He will still use us if we make ourselves AVAILABLE! Because we are worthy through Him, He will polish us up and equip us for the task He has set before us! I know this is true for me.

He has a purpose for you. Are you Available?
@unpolishedrubies #unpolishedrubies

Last Published: The Day My Life Was Forever Changed~ Revisited and Abridged
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Join me back here for:
Wisdom Wednesdays~ Real Life. Discovering the Beauty of God's Wisdom in the Messiness of Life
Fit Fridays~ The healthy side of my life; Mind, Body, and the Spiritual connection. Nutrition, Fitness, Recipes, Transformations, Articles, guest posts, and much more!
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Tomorrow, April 29th, I will celebrate a pivotal event in my life, a day that I have recognized for the past 4 years. Why? Because this is the day my life was forever changed! It's my Gymnut Fitness birthday-versary (I know its not a word but I can't decide if its a birthday or anniversary.... It's both).

My journey with Gymnut Fitness began April 29, 2013. I walked into Heather Traves’ Fit-in-6 Boot Camp class a stressed and overwhelmed mama of 2 littles, feeling overweight and (dare I say out loud) struggling with anxiety and depression. I was desperate for change.

Just over a year prior my life had also faced change. At this point my struggles involved decisions of reluctant and heartbreaking sacrifice. I had decided to give up my business after six years in which I had invested my heart and soul. Though extremely difficult my motives were pure, focusing on my two “loves” (my son and daughter) was simply more important. The transition was hard, my busy creative mind just would not shut down and I struggled as a full-time stay-at-home Mom. Still more than a year later I wrestled with my purpose and feeling overwhelmed most of the time.

The first weeks of Boot Camp were grueling. My body screamed “out of shape”!Sore muscles, dizziness, and Oh let’s add some hyper-ventilation to that! After a visit to the Doc to make sure I didn’t have serious issues I still went back for more. Nothing like a $25 co-pay to say you are just simply out of shape.

I wish I could say my anxieties and stress dissipated with my intense workouts. But they didn’t, at least not right away. Now adding to the monstrous pile of stress was the end of the school year, moving to a new house (with my two kiddos in tow), and some family struggle. I recall one morning in mid-June on my way to class, tears streaming down my face , I did not know how I would get through it without an emotional breakdown. But you know what, I did! That day I took all my frustrations and I pushed through hard. And each class following I kept pushing harder. I used Boot Camp as an outlet to help me through my struggles. At that time I wasn’t thinking (much) about the weight I was losing or the physical changes my body was undergoing. I was still hiding under my yoga pants and baggy t-shirts.

It was in my second six weeks of boot camp that I decided to actually set a goal for myself. In seven weeks I was turning thirty-five, my goal was to reach a total loss of twenty pounds. I was already about half way there. I felt confident that I could lose the rest. Heather advised I adjust my diet cutting out all processed foods, eating GOOD carbs., proteins, and fats.

Yes, I did reach my goal losing twenty-five pounds and sixteen inches overall, to date! And, it was an amazing journey. Hard but amazing! I lost the weight but gained so much more. I can’t even believe the results that I was seeing. Physically stronger, more flexible, and in better shape than I had ever been. It is no coincidence that God put me on this path. Heather Traves and Gymnut Fitness became so much more than an opportunity for physical change. For me it was a mental transformation as well as spiritual journey. Heather and the Gymnut girls pushed me and encouraged me to do better each class. Seeing the tremendous results helped me gain more self-confidence, and motivation. The added bonus was killer arms, legs and abs to go with it!

Though I had completed my first goal it was just the beginning. I continued my fitness journey that year with an opportunity that I never thought possible, competing in Woman's Physique Bodybuilding. In 10 weeks time my trainer/coach Heather, with Gymnut Fitness , encouraged me and pushed me to limits I never thought I could ever go. In this journey I faced challenges that allowed me to grow and change physically but also spiritually and further strengthening my self-confidence. On November 23, 2013 I took the stage at MT. RODGERS BIKINI, FIGURE, PHYSIQUE, AND BODYBUILDING COMPETITION WOODBRIDGE, VA. and was an Overcomer of many things! 

From top left: Where I began, this was taken shortly before I started bootcamp. Bottom left: Taken during my first weight lifting session for competition prep. Right: Competition Stage photo. Check out more Before & After photos here 

Wow, I began Unpolished Rubies two years ago this month! I can't believe it has been that long. Although I haven't been as consistent as I had hoped in my writing, God has kept the desire in my heart none the less. He continues to press upon my heart to share authentically and transparently what He is teaching me, which is what the foundation of this blog is all about. Where I have lacked in posting here in my blog I have been more actively posting in my social media (Instagram & Facebook).
​

Today I decided to share here on the blog a combination of recent social posts in regards to transparency about my homeschooling struggles. If you don't follow my social media or weren't aware, I began homeschooling my two little people at the beginning of the school year this year. So, much like school teachers, I'm finding homeschool families go through the March itch for a break. Although it's true we have more flexibility, our families ARE together 24/7. We too become weary.

But first, here is a bit of a comical illustration of how I've been feeling lately.

Homeschooling has been a roller coaster with loop deloop of emotions, twist and turneds of attitudes, inclines and free falls of learning, but also a rush of growth at the end.....just to do it all over again! But I'm afraid some days I just want to climb off that roller coaster before hurl. I am simply tired of the constant motion in the same direction....over and over again.
This is where I am right now. Does that mean I won't ever get back on? Nope! Because I know that this rollercoaster is the ride of a lifetime.

"I love having my littles home with me now. BUT I won't lie some days coffee is the only thing "on this earth' that gets me through these homeschool days! The growing pains of this life are fierce. And Satan has been on my heals.
I knew I was not equipped for this but God has different plans! I often wonder if what I'm teaching is enough for my little people. But I also see the growth in their responsibility, character, and in their hearts. I am thankful for a husband that endures with me and gives me grace. I am thankful for the support if godly friends.
This is not just a change in their education this is a lifestyle change. I pray that God would give this weary mom endurance for this life."

It takes constant prayer and heart searching for this life.

I can't say that those prayer won't sound like this, "God, let me off this rollercoaster for awhile or I'm gonna hurl. Can I just float on the lazy river for a bit?" (Ok a bit of comic relief again there.)

Again with a coffee theme, I did find my "lazy river" in some scripture writing and paint exportation one day last week.

"Sometimes Friday calls for an afternoon cup of coffee and some creative exploration!"

"Where coffee and creativity took me!
I read this today.
Wisdom- "She is more precious than Rubies; Nothing you desire can compare to her." Proverbs 3:15

This as well as Proverbs 31:10- were the basis for starting my @unpolishedrubies blog. "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." Though we can often feel unpolished, a woman who seeks wisdom is more precious to God than anything!
God can use the unpolished but not the unavailable. Ladies, be available and seek His wisdom!."

In the midst of the messiness God always reveals the blessings, for sure. And truthfully now that I write it all out I am finding a piece of that blessing. Because here in this place (this blog) it's about "Finding the Beauty of Gods Wisdom in the Messiness of Life".

​I hope I will find you back here another time for some more heart to heart wisdom in the mess of life!

Blessings Rubies,
Melissa

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Hello there Rubies,
I know, with the exception of my recent anniversary post it's been over a year since my last blog. And truthfully I've had a hard time writing this one (its been in the works for weeks now). This past year has been a hard year, and this “ruby” has definitely felt “unpolished”! In fact, for the duration of this messy year of mine, I had struggled to see God's wisdom and direction (certainly not because it wasn’t there). I questioned Him more than I have in a very long time, if not my entire life.

But, God allows our struggle to refine us. Zechariah 13:9 says:

“And I will bring the third part through the fire,
Refine them as silver is refined,
And test them as gold is tested.
They will call on My name,
And I will answer them;
I will say, ‘They are My people,’
And they will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’”
​
"To be refined as silver is refined," means to be put under extreme heat. This is a delicate process in which the extreme heat brings impurities to the surface to be removed in order to purify the character of the silver. In the end the pure silvery liquid creates a reflection as a mirror would. God desperately wants us to be a reflection of Him.

But, it’s hard to see what God is doing when we are in the midst of the fire. The process is painful. I am the type of person who feels things deeply so when several emotional events seemed to pile on top of me one by one I was feeling the heat of the fire.

It began last summer with some hurtful words from someone close to me. For a non-confrontational person like me, a strain in any relationship is overwhelmingly difficult for me to handle. The hurt continued to weigh on my heart for much of the year.

A couple months later I took on some new responsibilities. I accepted a big ministry roll in my home church and simultaneously decided to begin (yet another) new business venture. Though I felt God leading me in this new direction to minister to Women, I had no idea what to do with it. And the new business didn't start off well either. I struggled with both for several months. I later found that the business I had chosen wasn't really a good fit for me while I continued to stumble through my role in ministry; both brought feeling of failure.

Just after the New Year I found myself supporting my friend who was now entering a difficult and messy divorce. I carried her heartbreak and added it to the mix of emotions already weighing on me.

This all was such a contrast to just two years before when I was in the midst of complete transformation. I had discovered a healthier life and found confidence in who He created me to be but, I now was returning to discouragement, doubt, insecurity and negative thinking....... again. My struggle seemed so much more than these string of events, though. In the midst of it all I had lost my passion for the things I loved, including my motivation for health and fitness. I was coasting through my day to day routine.

I felt like I was stuck in a gray fog, depression and anxiety taking hold again. I had been through storms, failures, and shared heartbreak before, but this was hitting me really hard this time. I was struggling from all sides, spiritually, mentally and physically.

As I continued to pray through it God was faithful to bring some special people in my path who really spoke into my life.

When I shared my struggles with one of these precious souls, she encouraged me, prayed for me, and even helped me find natural solutions to help my depression and anxiety. After several months I was able to pinpoint a hormonal imbalance heightened by all the emotions I had been bearing. Yes, I believe practical solutions are sometimes necessary but I also feel this was nothing short of an answer to prayer.
Just a few weeks ago my Pastor spoke about (spiritual) depression in his Sunday morning message. I was comforted by his perspective on the subject. He pointed out that we are physical, emotional and spiritual beings and sometimes depression can manifest itself through our physical body, from an emotional trauma, or a spiritual issue. He explained that depression through our physical bodies can be from a medical issue, a chemical imbalance or even something within our nutrition. He also shared that through his training as a Chaplin in a first response team, depression can arise after emotional trauma or event in life. As Christians we can often think that depression it is just a spiritual issue that it has no place in our lives or that we should not struggle with such things. But, in my case I believe I was dealing with all three; physical, emotional, and spiritual depression.
Now that my sweet friend has helped me to understand the physical side of my depression and anxiety I have been able to find clarity for the emotional and spiritual sides as well.
Trying to understand what God was doing with me in this past year has definitely been a process and journey. More trying events have unfolded even in the last few weeks but I’m continuing to discover daily that God is using these things to refine me. He is solidifying my character and revealing a gift of greater compassion for others. I have been able to use these things to encourage and build up those close to my heart as they face their own struggles.
​
If feeling the fire means I will become a more pure reflection of Christ then I praise God for it!

NOTE: To hear Pastor Chris Brown’s message “What Are You Doing Here?” 1 Kings 19:1-9  visit http://www.cssbchurch.org/sermons-2/
​Refining Silver- https://youtu.be/_8QhipbbA3Q

October 18, 1997

It was a Saturday evening just before her shift at the local mall. As she stood in the Chick-fil-A line waiting to order her food she noticed a group of guys watching her in the next line. A bit uncomfortable, she tried to ignore their gawking stares.

After grabbing her food she spotted an old associate and stopped for a quick chat, then found a small table to herself.

Although she quickly forgot about awkward attention she was receiving moments before, little did she know there was a competition going between two of the guys at a near by table. One of them, quick on his feet, hopped over the booth from the inside where he was sitting to reach the girl first.

He confidently approached her table promptly asking, " Why are you sitting by yourself?"
A bit annoyed by his over confidence she replied, "No one to sit with I suppose."

"Mind if I have a seat?" he asks her.

But before she could respond, without hesitation, he presumptuously sits in the chair across from her.

Still uncomfortable by the attention and skeptical of his over confident nature she carefully entertains a conversation with him.

Boldly he asks, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Not wanting to reveal the fact that she was not seriously dating someone at the time she vaguely answered with ,"sort of!"

Consistent with his quick responses, thus far, this was no exception.
"Well, do you sort of want another one?"

Maybe it was his creative persistence or just a temporary laps of judgment on her part, she agrees to give him her phone number. This wasn't typical for this girl at all. She was usually careful when it came to dating, getting to know them first before agreeing to a date. Her father was a police officer and particularly protective when it came to dating. This is why his next question was a bit surprising as he typed her number in his cellphone.

"This isn't the number to the sheriff's office is it?"
"Ummm, Noooo! But my dad happens to be a cop!"
Without any intimidation what so ever he asks, "Oh, Where?"

It turns out that his uncle worked in the same area and his brother was once a local police officer as well. This was just enough to slightly ease her nerves about the decision she had just made.

Though a bit comical, this story is nothing short of God's intervention to bring together a young carpenter named Randy MacGregor and a young college girl named Melissa Carmell.

​This is a little story I posted on Facebook last year about how I met my husband. And yes, its all true! My first impression of my now husband is not what I invisioned my husband to be. But, he somehow captured my whole heart!

​I was 19 then; today we celebrate 19 years since that day! THAT IS HALF MY LIFETIME! So, for half my life he has had my whole heart. He is my beloved, my number 2 (Jesus is my #1 in case you are wondering), my best friend, my provider, and the amazing father of our children.

​My hope is that we have only scratched the surface of our journey together. Our marraige is far from perfect, we have certainly had our struggles and rough patches. But, overcoming them together has been part of our jouney. I do not take for granted that we have been able to endure through the difficult as well as the blessings in our marraige. I have friends who have not been so fortunate. Sharing in their hurt and pain has made me cherish my husband all the more. God has blessed us!

I am thankful that my man loves the Lord. I know that it is our detication to Him that keeps us together.

​"Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
​Ecclesiastes 4:12(NIV)