The trurh be told I was undoubtedly FOOLED.............
No, I was not innocently tricked by my children.
Or playfully pranked by my husband.
Not misled by a family member or duped by the girls at boot camp........
I'm sorry to say that I had been FOOLED by much more than a little April fools joke! And for way too long!
THE WHISPERS OF THE ENEMY!
My dear Rubies, Satan is a master in his craft! He knows our weakness and if we are not careful we can be blindsided by his lies.
I have struggled with self doubt a good part of my life. A bit of a perfectionists, I can be my worst critic. Satan uses those opportunities and when unchecked my mind will entertain these self defeating thoughts. The enemy desperately does not want us to believe truth. God's truth!
After competing and being in the best shape of my life I struggled to accept that I simply could not stay (healthy) as lean as I was. Though I knew I would gain some of my weight back I allowed defeat to enter my thoughts as the pounds began to find their way back. I blogged about some of my physical challenges and life changes that contributed to my defeating thoughts in D IS FOR......DIET?, CONFESSIONS OF A SUGAR ADDICT and LETTING IT GO.
The sad truth is that my mind entertained thoughts that I would NEVER say to someone else. In fact I was encouraging others to think the opposite of what my own mind was telling me.
I have many times used Psalm 45:10-11 to encourage my church youth girls over the years. But, did I really believe this truth myself? I desperately wanted to. But this "truth" that I have known was obviously not penetrating my heart.
Oh, my sweet friends look close at this verse. DO NOT miss the first part.
Listen, daughter, and pay careful attention:
Forget your people and your father’s house. (vs 10)
Why is what the psalmist is about to say so important?
" Forget your people and your father’s house."
What do we women often do? We carry the opinions of our people; our family, friends, people we interact with , those from our past (maybe prior to our Christian life). Wherever they originate they can lead to comparison, in which can lead to self doubt; then self defeat.
Scripture says to leave it behind. Friends, I also have a hard time letting things go! I often replay conversations, humiliating instances, and mistakes in my mind.
"What was that person thinking when I said that?"
"How did it sound to them?"
"I wonder if they took it the wrong way?"
"I feel so dumb. I wonder if anyone saw that?"
Why do I torture myself so much with the replays and degrading self talk?
I want people to like me......I want them to think "good" of me! Yes, often times I'm concerned about my behavior and how it will bring glory to Christ. I don't want to make mistakes or say things to hurt people or hurt my testimony as a christian. Trying to live a life above reproach is not a bad thing however when I begin to over analyze my words and actions to the point of degrading myself (the Kings daughter) and putting those thoughts above what GOD says I am, THIS IS SIN!
So more importantly the question is,
What does God think of me?
Let the king be enthralled by your beauty;
honor him, for he is your lord. (vs. 11)
Accepting and confessing my thoughts as sin is undoubtedly hard but, accepting that my God is enthralled by my beauty may be even more difficult. Non the less I must replace those thoughts with TRUTH !
My dear Rubies, I pray this is encouraging to you! And my hope is that if you struggle as I do that you will also discover for yourself God's wisdom and truth. I challenge you (as I do myself) to set your mind on God's Word guarding your heart and mind against Satan's deceptive whispers!